Kristin Cavallariexperienced the miracle of childbirth and the tragedy of a life cut short all at once when her missing brother Michael was found dead three weeks after she welcomed daughter Saylor James.
As she grieved, the former reality star found solace — and a sense of purpose — in her family.
“I’m okay. I’m going to have good days and bad days, but I’ve really found a lot of strength in my kids, especially Saylor. I couldn’t just fall apart — I had a little baby to look after,” she told PEOPLE at the BELLA magazine March/April 2016 Cover Launch Party in New York City on Monday. “When you lose someone, it really makes you realize how precious life is, and so I’m just thankful that I have my babies and I’m thankful for everything in my life.”
Everything includes her husband, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler;their three kids Saylor, 3½ months, Jaxon Wyatt, 22 months, and Camden Jack, 3; her booming fashion business and her new book Balancing in Heels: My Journey to Health, Happiness and Making It All Work.
Courtesy Kristin Cavallari
And the Chinese Laundry shoe designer is deftly finding her balance (yes, in strappy heels) thanks to her little girl.
“Saylor is such a mellow, easy baby, and I have heard that girls are easier in the easily stages, in the teen years they’re a little bit more work,” said Cavallari, 29, smiling.
The boys are also loving being big brothers, though it took middle child Jax a minute to adjust.
“They’re really cute, they lay on the floor with her and they talk to her and she smiles and laughs, and she just thinks that they’re great,” Cavallari said. “The first week was tough with Jaxon. He would get upset every time I was nursing her, he’d grab my boppy billow and he’d throw himself on the ground, but once we got through that little phase, it’s been smooth sailing since.”
In Balancing in Heels(which hits shelves Tuesday), Cavallari writes about body image issues she suffered from as a teen rocketed to stardom on Laguna Beach, when she obsessively counted calories for five days and binged on junk on the weekend. After becoming a mom, she developed an eating plan that’s full of organic food and free of GMOs.
She hopes that by being completely honest about her dangerous eating habits, she can help other young women (including her daughter) lead healthier lives.
“It’s harder for girls now to grow up than it was even 10 years ago when I was in high school — or, wow it’s been over 10 years,” she said with a laugh. “But I want to raise a confident daughter. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin, and I think it’s important for girls to know that if you live a healthy lifestyle, you can eat a lot of food, you just have to eat the right stuff and you work out and you just stay active and stay healthy. It’s such a better way of being rather than counting every calorie and watching every little thing you eat and just feeling caged in by food.”
— Michele Corriston